As I look at my e-mail inbox right now, I realize that my television is not big enough, my, um, manhood, also is woefully inadequate, my breasts are too small, I weigh too much, I’m not sleeping well, I’d better quit driving my clunker, my job stinks, I don’t read enough, my mortgage and car insurance are too high, the roughness of my skin is exceeded only by the fungus of my toes, my cell phone is an embarrassment, I don’t take enough vacation time, my purse is old-fashioned, my business cards are substandard, and, apparently, I’m not eating enough sub sandwiches.
I try, I try, I really do. But the good news is that, even with all these faults, the women at half a dozen online dating places all want me. So I must not be a total loser. Plus, I may already have won $25,000….
