One of my many faults is that I am naturally sarcastic and rude. It’s taken many years and a steady effort and many beating ups to conquer that side of me. But I still enjoy a well-placed, clever insult, which may sometimes have occasional utility in your work day. Use insults sparingly, of course.
Here are a few I admire:
You must have taken great pains, sir; you could not have been naturally so stupid. Samuel Johnson
He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know. Abraham Lincoln
You couldn't get a clue during the clue mating season in a field full of horny clues if you smeared your body with clue musk and did the clue mating dance. Edward Flaherty
Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence. Ashleigh Brilliant
Don't look now, but there's one too many in this room and I think it's you. Groucho Marx
You had to stand in line to hate him. Hedda Hopper
He's the only guy I know whom Dale Carnegie would hit in the mouth. Bill Veeck
