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May 2
Understanding Another's Situation: No Comparison

More from Sarah Henry at MSN Lifestyle. What she says about how we treat children applies to where we work as well as our homes:

Resist comparisons. Comments such as Niles and Frasier Crane (with Eddie), my favorite family, although not always good examples of empathy, and they sometimes do make comparisons...."Why can't you be more like your sister?" or "Why can't you be nice like Peter?" will just remind your child of where he struggles in a way that fosters shame, envy, and competition. Even positive comparisons, such as "You're the best player" are potentially damaging because a child can find it hard to live up to this image. If you let your child know you appreciate him for the unique individual he is, he'll be more likely to value himself too.

Offer empathy. If your child compares himself unfavorably to his siblings or
peers ("Why can't I catch a ball like Sophia?"), show him empathy and then emphasize one of his strengths. For instance, say, "You're right. Sophia is good at catching. And you're good at painting pictures." This can help your child learn that we all have strengths and weaknesses, and that he doesn't have to be perfect to feel good about himself.

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