A discussion about business ethics, character traits, integrity, and values

I want to marry Meg Ryan. You’re thinking, sure, who doesn’t, other than Dennis Quaid. I mean, just look at her, but I have other reasons, too. You’re also wondering why would she want to marry me. Right?

One reason I think Meg would have me is because she gets along with Tom Hanks, and Tom and I were born on the same day. Not just the same date, the same day. The only difference between Tom Hanks and me is that, so far, anyway, he’s made more money. Except for clothes, hair, facial features, build and height, we are a lot alike.

Meg Ryan is cute. I like cute. Meg Ryan is funny. I’m a funny guy – ask anyone I’ve never been married to. Meg Ryan is wealthy, so she wouldn’t love me just for my money. Meg Ryan likes to read. Maybe she would read my book.

But here’s the clincher: I never leave clothes on the floor, I always squeeze toothpaste from the bottom, and I always put the toilet seat back down. Always. How any woman could ask more than that, I don’t know.