Lots of comedians have tackled the impossible "Do I look fat" question for men and women. It is a lose-lose situation, with no answer you won’t regret. Here are some possible responses, repeated often online. They won’t keep you out of trouble, but hey, if you gotta go, you may as well go out laughing.
"No, not to Stevie Wonder."
"Does this tie make me look stupid?"
"No hablo ingles."
"Okay, listen: What's important is that you not focus in a negative way on the comparison I am about to make."
"Yes, but in my country obesity suggests prosperity."
"Let me jog around to your front and take a look."
"No, honey. But just to be safe, steer clear of one-legged sea captains."
"Whoa! A talking couch!"
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