
"That’s okay, Kristin, you did good," lied her mother. "Good job, honey, good job."
How can it possibly be good for Kristin* to be told she did a good job? She just gave up two base hits and walked 11 batters.
She got no one out while giving up eight runs. Kristen did not do a good job. Kristen stunk up the place. How does it help her to say she did well?
I'm sure Kristin is a nice girl. Tell her she is smart, pretty, funny. Tell her she is a whiz at math. Tell her she does one heck of a limbo. Tell her how great she is at the flute. But do not tell her she did good when she walked eight runs home. Tell her you love her. Tell her she’s adorable. Tell her she rocks in every other walk of life, but do not tell her she did well when she threw 44 pitches off the plate. How could that possibly help her self-esteem?
What does it mean when mediocrity and abject failure are praised and rewarded the same as genuine achievement? All it does, it seems to me, is remove incentive to do well, and it cheapens the whole experience for those who actually do a good job, honey.
* Chances are that Kristin is not her real name.




