From Speaking Up by Mark Ruskin:
In day-to-day encounters, persuasion is far more often 
a function of feeling than of full-blown logical discourse. Browbeat your boss with "good reasons," and eventually you will numb her into ignoring you altogether. Speak to your boss in a way that cultivates the right feelings, and she will be more likely to move in the direction you want.
If you wait for your feelings to change before, say, asking your boss for a raise, you'll probably drift past the age of retirement by the time you're ready to speak up. The great thing about giving people the right feelings is that you don't necessarily have to have the right feelings yourself. All you need are the right words uttered in the right way and at an appropriate time.
We are accustomed to thinking that words and acts must have their origin in feelings. If we don't feel absolutely convinced that we deserve that raise, we can't ask for it effectively. Who says that feelings have to come before the words? Learn to use the right words, first, get what you need, accomplish what you want, and the right feelings will follow.
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