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Sep15
Hey, Don't Blame Me

Picture a pointing hand, your hand, pointing at someone else. It's so easy to blame our problems on others. We blame our friends, our parents, our teachers, our leaders, our government. We blame the guy in the car behind us, or the guy in line in front of us. We blame the neighbors, we blame the media. Sometimes we may even blame God. It seems so foolish, but we do it.

Rather than blame others, we need to accept responsibility for what we do and what we say. When we are wrong, we need to admit it and make things right.

When we are unhappy, we need to figure out why and fix it. Whether we are happy or not happy is our individual decision, no matter what others do. The finger points at you.

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12 Comments/Trackbacks




I liked very much your post. You have so much right in all of it. Blame somebody else it is the easier way to feel not guilty for our or other unhappiness. I often try to tell myself that it is no one guilty. Things just happen.

So...who do you blame?

I blame Nixon.

LOL. Nixon, huh? I don't believe Nixon could have much to do with your problems. What I meant was, it is natural to point those fingers. And you preach a lot of good things, but the more and more I read of your posts, the more I am wondering who does this guy think he is? Do you truely belief your life reflects all the things you preach?

with all due respect.

David M.

Correction: Do you truely believe your life reflects all the things you preach?

Interesting question, David M. I've never viewed this forum as preaching, and certainly not self-aggrandizement. I see it more as seeking truth and wisdom from the best writers and thinkers I can find, rather than being "come do what I do." Certainly I believe what is written here, and many of the principles I do and have practiced for a long time. Some I struggle with, some I ignore. I am far from perfect and have had many failures and disappointments over the years, professionally and personally, but that in no way negates nor limits the value of what is written here. These principles are sound, even profound, but I've never implied that I am the shining example anyone should follow. I try to do what I think is right, and try to be pretty consistent in understanding what that is. This blog has been a tool for me to search for truth and guidance as much as anything else. I believe but do not fully embrace every precept here, at least not yet. These are becoming my goals as I pursue life, liberty and happiness, just like everyone else.

Why do you ask?

John,

The "blame game" is our new national past-time, and saying "gotcha" has become an end unto itself. People today have more formal education, technology, and money than ever before, but these things seem to have made individuals rationalize their actions more at the expense of being self-critical.

Is it delusion? Pervasive low self-esteem? Or is it just a symptom of acting spoiled and entitled?

These days, our schools seem to spend a lot of time and effort building self-esteem (probably not a bad thing). But could this emphasis be contributing to problems with personal responsibility and accountibility? I don't know the answer, but perhaps it is food for thought.

JackC

I ask because that is the first impression I had. I meant no direct offense to you, but it seemed as though you were preaching from a standpoint that you were Mr. Perfect over there. I understand your points though, and agree with most.

Sorry for the mix up.

David M.

What you see in the magnifying glass when you are trying to blame others is only an excuse for what you don't like about your life. I know ... it's easier to blame somebody else for our misgivings.

"Blame Canada! Blame Canada. With their beady little eyes, their flappin' heads all full o' lies ..." Sorry, I'm still in love with South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut.

Blaming our predicament on others won't solve anything. Even though that person was the one responsible for the whole mess, you can't fix it up by just pointing the finger at someone else. Instead, you should do your best to take matters into your own hands and make efforts to improve yourself.

As they say, when you point you finger at someone, there are three fingers that point back at you.

By taking responsibility for our own actions and outcomes, we take control of our lives. Blaming others only leaves us powerless to change our situation (which is usually unhappy because of a certain outcome). That basically means that we cannot decide our own happiness because it is always somebody else "making" us unhappy.

As a business coach, I work on getting the business owner to take charge of their business and stop making excuses for their current business situation first. This work is so vitally important that I don't even put strategies in place to increase sales yet. Once they understand that they are in the business "driver's seat" ultimately having power over the success/failure of the business rather than the economy, they make leaps and bounds in business growth upon implementation of business strategies. It's all in the mindset.

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